We all hurt, and it sucks, who wants to hurt? For me, the response to ourselves when we hurt is crucial to our recovery. It is often tempting and culturally endorsed to blame and criticise one’s self for the hurt we experience.
I didn’t know it then but I had begun a new chapter of my life and it started with Abandonment. From that moment, I was catapulted into an abyss where it didn’t matter that I had a wonderful husband, two children, great friends… all I felt was abandoned.
We are not born feeling inadequate. Life experiences and emotions create that sense within us in a variety of creative ways. For example, when we were little and we felt afraid or anxious, our mind told us something was wrong with us, not with our environment.
The first step is to ask and listen with a willingness to accept what your partner has to say about the event that created the emotional injury. To start the conversation, choose a time when both of you can be undisturbed. It can start with a question like this: “Can y...