As tough as it is, it’s important to help them adjust before, or at the same time, as we ourselves are doing. They must learn this skill from us too. The ability to cope with emotional pain is crucial to help them adapt to change.
We all hurt, and it sucks, who wants to hurt? For me, the response to ourselves when we hurt is crucial to our recovery. It is often tempting and culturally endorsed to blame and criticise one’s self for the hurt we experience.
When we find ourselves in this place of ‘not enough’ it can trigger a whole range of feelings and behaviours which we think will help us be/do/have more but which actually end up having totally the opposite effect.
Often when people try to increase their activity levels in an attempt to feel better, they often want to start with the things they “should be doing”, such as cleaning the house, sorting bills etc. Maybe things have got on top of them and they want to ‘clear the decks...