Motherwell Cheshire’s CEO, Kate Blakemore, shares her thoughts on why the Counselling room is an ideal place to talk about sex.
As therapists, we have to be able to talk with our clients about many intimate aspects of their lives. Speaking about issues such as abuse, trauma, rape, assault and other difficult subjects are a part of everyday conversations for most therapists – it goes with the territory. Yet it has always amazed me how reserved we are as a nation when it comes to talking about sex! For something that is as natural to us as breathing and eating, it is remarkable how little people want to talk about it.
As a Counsellor, I believe sex should form a regular part of the conversation in the Counselling room. Having a fulfilled sex life is an important part of many people’s lives and relationships, but a lot of people don’t feel comfortable talking about their needs and desires openly.
I am not a sex therapist but I do ask my clients about their sex lives, which often surprises them. Why? Not because I am nosey but because it gives me a big clue to what is happening in their closest relationships. It can also sometimes help me to get to the root cause of underlying issues.
It’s very common for a relationship to go through phases where one or both partners lose interest in sex. This can be simply down to the fact that sexual interest tends to ebb and flow over time. It’s not unusual for partners to have different sex drives at different stages of their relationship. But it can also be related to specific issues in the relationship or external pressures from outside it.
Being intimate is important to many people but some don’t want to explore this side of them for fear of judgment by friends, family or even sexual partners.
The Counselling room is a safe place to talk about these things without fear of judgment. Counsellors are there to listen and help. We can only help if we understand everything that is concerning you – if that is related to intimacy and sex, then the Counselling room is a safe place to explore those desires.
Kate Blakemore is the Founder, Director and Counsellor at Motherwell CIC, a service provided for women by women, promoting positive health and wellbeing, offering a range of educational services, holistic therapies and mental health support.
Kate is also a presenter on Redshift radio, presenting the Mums' Hour Show.
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