We use words every day, we speak them, we text them, we tweet them but how often do we sit down with pen and paper and actually write about what’s on our minds?
I love to talk, my current job involves a lot of chatting with work colleagues and clients so it comes naturally to be a bit of a ‘chatterbox’, but when it comes to speaking about what’s on my mind and what’s troubling me, I seem to lose my voice.
Depression takes your voice, it takes your power, it takes your confidence, and it makes you feel worthless, so when I was struggling the only way I could vent out was by writing.
I purchased a journal at an airport on my way to Sorrento. My first intention was to use it as a diary, write down what I did on a daily basis and how I was feeling and it didn't come naturally so I pushed it aside. The following few weeks I picked the journal back up and started writing what turned out to be one of my fist blogs ‘Diaries of a Black Dog’.
I couldn’t get the words out fast enough, all these emotions that depression had been pushing me on, I was pushing straight back out on paper.
Journaling become a release, the weight lifted off me slowly, there was no pressure involved, no expectations and it was just me and my journal. All these feelings that I had been keeping inside were finally free. Having them in black and white in front of me, knowing that I could hold them in my hand gave them less power over me.
Part of the pressure that I put on myself was this label of how ‘useless’ I am at talking. The people closest to me get frustrated with me and I have probably frustrated professionals too, so as the pressure built so did the walls around me.
Writing can be a private release but it can also be a great way to spread awareness of mental health. When you are feeling low and alone reading other people’s experiences can give you that sense of belonging and reassurance that you are not alone and there is hope even in the darkest of times. It helped me in my darkest hour, I would lay and read blogs and stories, it made me feel connected and gave me a sense of hope.
I have lived through the darkest of times and come out the other side a stronger person. Writing has been a massive part of recovery for me, when you can’t find the courage to speak the words, write the words.
In Sophie's words: "I don’t take life too seriously, always joking and making people laugh! Family and friends mean the world to me, and my little cat tiggs! Music is my life, I spend most of time with my headphones on listening to anything and everything, I believe ‘When words fail music speaks’! I am more creative than anything, I love writing and knowing that hopefully, writing my struggles can help other people is just the best feeling ever! I cannot wait for the future so I can train to be a counsellor and hopefully help someone the way my counsellor has helped me!"