We hear so much about self-care these days and I guess that’s all well and good, however when do you really get the time to do all the things that are suggested for you?
When do you get the time to meditate for an hour, live mindfully, journal, be creative, pamper yourself, take time to tune into yourself, be in nature?
There appears to be so much that you need to do and there just isn’t enough hours in the day or energy left once you have looked after the needs of your family, extended family and sometimes friends and more. The end of the day, the bit that’s left is just filled with exhaustion.
What happens when you do stop? What happens when you do focus on yourself? How does that feel? Do you even feel like you know what your needs are anymore?
It's amazing how we adapt and mould our lives, often, in some form or other, seeking to please others; whether that be on an acceptance level or a nurturing level – which differs naturally as we go through our lives.
Whichever and whatever way this happens to be for you, it would appear that we spend vast chunks of our lives looking outwards and basing ourselves on how that reflection of our outward view makes us feel.
There was a time, if you had asked me what would you like to do – what would be good for you? – I would not have known and to be honest, it made me feel like I didn’t know who I was anymore or even if I ever did?
But as time has gone on, I realise that in order to appreciate my own needs, in order to develop a sense of care for myself, in order to be able to be able to offer kindness, compassion and nurture to others…
I simply need to slow down enough to notice, to observe, to listen and to hear. And in doing so, this will help to refill my own internal vessel and radiate out from my full cup (you know the expression you can't pour from an empty vessel).
These moments of slowing down my life also enables me to connect with myself, with my environment and my world around me.
The funny thing is – when I do slow down my life, when I take time to observe what’s around me and what I am feeling, I seem to have more time on my hands than when I am rushing around.
Some of this, I feel, is without stepping out for a moment, we can be so consumed in life stress and overwhelm that we just can not see what’s right in front of us.
So I invite you to try an exercise, a simple observation exercise. (I use a painting from a friend for this).
The painting that I use is of some yellow flowers – which when I first look at the picture that is what I see.
As I slow down giving myself all the time that I need (which in reality is a few moments) I notice the different shades of yellow and how edges are a darker yellow still. I can see a red vein that runs through the centre of the petal and notice how this red bleeds through to parts of the petal, on just a few.
I notice that not all the petals are the same size, the deep purple seeds in the middle and the lighter purple centre.
I notice the colour of the leaves, the different shades, the shapes and the differences.
The more I observe, the more curious I get and then the more I am able to see.
I also notice how my breathing has become a little slower, smoother and deeper, how calm I feel and it’s as if I have just stepped out and away from everything else that is going on around me.
I hope you get an opportunity to give yourself a moment of pause, a moment of connection.
Maria is a life coach and trainer. She offers 1-1 coaching sessions (video conferencing available), workshops, classes and retreats.
She offers heart based coaching and training around self-discovery, transformation, self esteem, beliefs, connection, self care and law of attraction.
Maria is a licensed Heal Your Life® Teacher and Coach, Mindfulness and Compassion Teacher, EFT (Tapping) Trainer and Reiki Teacher.