Self-care is a popular topic at the moment, I see it on various social media sites, I usually glance past it, and I have never really stopped and actually thought about it.
I have read a few ‘self-help’ books in the past, I enjoy reading peoples stories, I can relate to some of their journeys and others are a reassurance that life will get better, the belief that you are not the only person that has struggled and hurdled through life. It can be a comforting thing, it can make you feel less alone when you are battling with your own demons to know that is someone else has felt the same as you.
Life can be busy, it’s full of work, family commitments, meeting up with friends, appointments so how do you make time for yourself? If you are anything like me and scared of the word no then you can be pulled a million different ways but not really looking after yourself and putting you first.
You have the fear of letting others down, hurting their feelings or generally terrified that they will hate you because you said no (which in reality generally isn’t the case!).
I once got told by someone that had quite an impact on my life that ‘the person we spend most time with is ourselves’, we spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 52 weeks a year with nobody but ourselves so why do we sometimes think that it’s ok to neglect the one person that has such an important impact on daily existence.
‘We are what we feed our mind’ (same person also taught me this) if we fill our mind with negative thoughts and carry around with us our negative baggage then we are not allowing ourselves to heal and move forward in life. Imagine if we did the opposite, feeding our minds with ‘I CAN do this’ and I AM worthy on this’, it’s not going to be something we just automatically switch, the mind is a powerful thing and retraining our mind can take time. Looking back and holding on to the past isn’t going to move us forward, it’s something we can all be a little guilty of, we can feel scared of repeating something bad that has happened to us so we choose not to get up and try again.
It’s about recognising the patterns and making a change, if you are constantly doing the same thing over and over again but not getting the change you want in life then that could be a pattern that may need a little tweaking to get you where you want to be.
You can’t drink from an empty cup, so self-care is an essential to keeping yourself in tip top condition so you can be at your best to balance a healthy and happy lifestyle. It could be anything that gives you that ‘me time’ from taking a walk, reading a book, listening to music, having a coffee, just being present.
Checking in with yourself and putting your needs first sometimes is not a selfish act, it’s something we should be doing more often, so make sure you make time to look after you.
Sophie Collumbell is a regular writer for the Counsellors Café Magazine. In Sophie's words: "I don’t take life too seriously, always joking and making people laugh! Family and friends mean the world to me, and my little cat tiggs! Music is my life, I spend most time with my headphones on listening to anything and everything, I believe ‘When words fail music speaks’! I am more creative than anything, I love writing and knowing that hopefully, writing my struggles can help other people is just the best feeling ever! I cannot wait for the future so I can train to be a counsellor and hopefully help someone the way my counsellor has helped me!"